How To Talk Dirty Without Being Awkward
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July 28, 2024How To Talk Dirty Without Being Awkward
When we’re actively having sex, Dr. Jansen says, “our minds tend to choose a path of least resistance” and fall back on the phrases we’ve been repeating for years as the quickest way to reach orgasm during sex. Experimenting with role play is another way to break out of formulaic dirty talk and inspire more creativity. Couples can switch up the setting and pretend to be strangers meeting up at a bar or hotel, but you don’t have to orchestrate something elaborate if you can’t or don’t want to deal with the hassle in real life. You can also try on different sex positions or acts—like anal sex or learning how to squirt during sex—by including them in your word play first. Depending on your and your partner’s reactions, you might discover dirty things to physically explore later.
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So relax, enjoy the moment, and let the words (or laughs) flow naturally. This type of dirty talk entails stepping into your own mini movie and directing the action, aka telling someone else or yourself exactly what to do. “Directing can sound like, ‘Take your pants off,’ or ‘Turn around and turn over,’” says Dr. Tara. And in this context, the commands can come across as an arousing kind of dominance.
- With dirty talk phrases, directions are the best way to get us where we need to go.
- Setting boundaries through honest conversation is the safest way to navigate these waters.
- Rather than just shooting some of these lines out there, if that’s not something you’ve ever done, you might want to let him know that you’d like to try spicing things up and let the leash out a bit more on your sexuality.
- Dirty talk is one of the quickest and easiest spices at your disposal to add tons of flavour to your sex life.
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In the bedroom, when someone says “Talk dirty to me baby…” the hopefully-soon-to-be dirty talker suddenly freezes up like a soaking wet roll of toilet paper thrown out of an igloo in Antartica. If you’re a newbie Lowrie advises thinking of it like flirting and foreplay. “You might tell them something you’d like them to do to you or that you’d like to do with them,” Lowrie advises. Be as playful as possible, bringing in personal touches that mean something to both of you.
In Dear Black Girls, Wilson–through a humorous anecdote of her WNBA drafting day–points out that everyone makes mistakes and that many should not be ashamed for not knowing what they hadn’t known before. Instead, beauty lies in learning and giving oneself credit for the knowledge that you now have for navigating future situations. Instead of beating yourself up, Wilson tells young Black girls there is no point in beating themselves up and to allow grace in moments of uncertainty and error. She was the person Wilson called when she learned to drive in a new state or deal with the stress of her newfound career. Through her mother’s encouragement, she learned not to chase after boys or some concept of a new sense of self, instead, she learned to make decisions with her best interest in mind.
But we both know you’re not here to have a “bare minimum” kind of sex life. Nicoletta Heidgger, a sexologist and host of the Sluts and Scholars podcast, also suggests reading or listening to erotica to get some inspiration. And when in doubt, you can always just narrate what’s happening in the moment, Cordingley says.